I Wanna be Your Stone, Love
by The Loneliest of All
Summary: Noodle interrupts Stu with breakfast while he works, diligently mixing their newest single. On no sleep whatsoever. Sentimental talk ensues. / Kind of romance, kind of vague.


Stuart groaned in pain, rubbing at his eyes with the palm of his hand as he tried his hardest to put more focus into what he was supposed to be doing. That is, mixing the new single so that it could be pushed out. The song, titled Tranz, was one of his personal favorites from their new album. But, being the farthest from being the first song recorded when he was hit with the bombshell that it was chosen to be the single meant that he was given quite a few nights full of headaches as he personally dissected each audio track and masterfully put them together like a masterwork puzzle.

He felt that breaks weren't necessary. Not a habit that was good for his health, but then, he never really had any good habits. He took a long drag from a cig almost as if to prove the point further. He swore it helped him focus. The nicotine worked into his system faster than any "energy drink" could. He moved some knobs, flipped some switches and almost like magic the music sounded better than it could even in its most pure form.

When they played live, it was raw, unfiltered. It was what he liked most. Still, he couldn't deny that there was a certain something to music that was made to sound great. Still though, about two knob turns back he had made a mistake. Pinching the bridge of his nose he cursed and tapped the lit cig on the edge of the ashtray, haphazardly balanced between two switches, before snuffing it out and saving the rest for later.

"Knock knock, you have a visitor!" Noodle said, pushing her way into the room and slamming the door behind her. If it were anyone else, Stu would have berated them. Russel wouldn't have done it, and Murdoc would have gotten a middle finger and a slew of bad words. But he couldn't bring himself to get mad at Noodle at all. She had a funny way of making him a lot happier with her presence. Ever since she was just a little kid, she had made him happy.

"Hey, Noods…" he mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear. He raised his black eyes in curiosity as he caught sight of the bag in her hand. "Whatcha got there, luv?"

"Just some breakfast, You've been locked in here for quite a while, figured you might be hungry. Russ was a bit worried about ya, anyway. I mean, I was too, but you know how the big guy is." She giggled to herself as she placed the bag down in front of him.

"Breakfast? You mean dinner?" He squinted into the sack to find a couple of donuts and a few sausage rolls. Not traditionally a breakfast by any means, but then, their home studio wasn't really located anywhere near a place you could get a traditional breakfast and their pantry was nearly empty. God forbid anyone restock sometime.

"How long do you think you've been in here? It's nine in the morning." She turned her head, confused as to what time it was exactly in Stu's head.

"Nine in the morning?!" He peeked up at the clock in astonishment. He suddenly felt the full weight of everything slam against him. His fingers ached, his eyes burned, and the worst of all was the sheer mental exhaustion that hit like a freight train. Still, the promise of breakfast called to him, and he managed to shake away the tiredness simply for the fact that he would get to stuff his face full of something delicious.

"Really, you know you shouldn't do this to yourself. It's worse for you than smoking." Noodle smiled wryly, grabbing a seat next to him, crossing her legs almost like a stern teacher. Stu just watched her light up a cig, keeping in mind what she said about smoking literally seconds prior. "Honestly." She blew smoke in his face.

"You're right, obviously. But then, you're not the one mixing the album, are ya, luv? It's harder than you might think you know. It's not all just twisting knobs and messing around with switchey things." He opened up a sausage roll and bit off half of it with just one bite. He grabbed the lukewarmish milk that she had been so thoughtful to have brought along, opening it up and taking a big swig. "That really hits the spot. Thanks, Noods, I really appreciate this."

"It was allllll Russ' idea." She took another drag, swivelling around in her chair like a kid who was too bored for her own good. Stu had a hard time believing that. Sure the big guy was a sweetheart deep down, but the food did seem more like a Noodle thing. "Anyway, be sure to eat up okay? I ate on the way here, so I'm already full. And a little crow told me you'd missed lunch yesterday, so along with missing dinner you must be starving."

Stu had already finished his second roll by the time she was done talking. She rolled her eyes at the sight of him with his mouth completely full, staring at her like he had made a horrible mistake.

"You know, once you get that down, we should really talk. It's been a while since we've had a moment to just have a normal conversation. It's been nothing but music for such a long time, and that's fine, it really is, but I miss all the dumb things we used to do. The things we used to talk about." She stared down at all the little gadgets and thingies that he'd been messing with for near on a full day now, noting how each and every one looked to be so worn out that it was probably getting to the point where he would have to buy new boards.

"What, you mean like, between Russ and Muds who usually leaves the tour bus bathroom smelling the worst? Because I've told you several times that it is always going to be Muds." He chuckled lightheartedly, remembering how Noodle, even so long ago, has always been terribly adamant about Russ being the worst offender. Noodle herself laughed at his remembrance.

"Yes! And I miss just, I don't know, playing video games with you, and just jammin' and stuff, y'know? Ever since I've returned it hasn't been the same. It's been quite a while since I've been gone, but, still." Stu rolled away a bit from the mixers, stretching a little as he focused on old memories that began to resurface.

"Yeah… But that doesn't mean it has to stay like this, right? It's just, you've grown a lot, and we've both changed, luv. For the better." Stu looked down at his hands, fidgeting around sleepily. "We've just been so busy. So tell ya what, how's about the next time we get some free time we watch a couple of old movies and share a few fags on the couch?" He offered her a slight smile, hoping it came off right and didn't seem like he was trying too hard. That's what it felt like, him being so basically brain dead.

"Now that sounds like a lot of fun, Toochi." She added his old nickname with a wink. Stuart blinked in surprise, a bit taken aback by the use of it. It wasn't that it was unwelcome, definitely not. But it also had went unheard for what felt like years. It got to a point where it seemed so childish that Noodle stopped using it, or so Stu had assumed. "What? Too much? I just figured, since we were going back that…"

"No, it's more than fine. I actually kind of miss it. Almost as much as I missed you when you were gone. You know, it was really hard. I don't think I ever told you just how much." He glanced at the milk carton and occupied his thoughts with the nutritional facts on the back. He did everything in his power to forget those days. There was no reason to remember. Noodle was back, the band was much better off now. His writing process has improved, and with Muds in jail he'd managed to take a bigger position in the band and finally prove his worth. But things like that don't just get erased. They remain locked away in the furthest depths of one's mind.

"Toochi… hey, it's… I don't know. I don't know what to say really. It was neither of our faults, and yet it feels like I have to apologize." She moved closer to him, desperate to get across the feeling in her voice. She grabbed at his hands, rubbing his knuckles lightly, massaging his worn out fingers with care. She was never too great with emotional stuff. She could speak so many languages perfectly with no hesitation, but the second she tries to have a heartfelt conversation she fails.

"You don't need to apologize," Stu replied, staring down at her hands, small in comparison to his. Her fingers were more slender, longer than his though. It made sense that she was always so much better at guitar than he was. He grabbed her hands, wrapping them in a small embrace. "I… I missed you a lot." He almost choked on his words.

"P-put it in a song then, sappy," Noodle said with a blush on her face. She chuckled nervously. "I really missed you, too." The touch was a shock to her senses. She and Stu were close, to be sure. But they hadn't been close enough to so casually be intimate like this. Used to be they would snuggle up to one another on the couch, a harmonica or a guitar in hand, a whole lot of pencils and enough paper to last a lifetime for the average person. But those days had passed. As Stu had said, however, it didn't have to stay that way.

"I, uh… sorry, luv." Stu pulled away from her, letting go of her hands as if he had just noticed that he crossed a line. But it was a line that didn't exist, and Noodle let that be known by immediately grabbing his hands again. "Oh, I, uh-"

"It's fine, my hands were cold anyway." A lie to be sure, and she knew he obviously knew it. "In fact, I'm a bit cold in general. Think we can…?" She moved in, the blush still on her face, though stronger as she pressed up against him. He accepted the closeness with literal open arms, but it was a little uncomfortable due to their current seating. The only thing making it bearable was the lack of arm rests. "If this is too close just tell me okay, Toochi? I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything."

"Nah, this is fine. It kind of reminds me of when you were younger, you would always find a way to cuddle into my side while I worked." He moved a hand to her side, but she froze up at the contact. Stuart looked down to see that she was frozen stiff all over. He pulled his hand away, thinking he got a bit too close to something she didn't want touched. But even after removing his hand she remained in that position, a strange look on her face.

"Toochi… do you still think of me as a child?" Noodle asked, raising up into a more comfortable position.

"What? Well, I suppose sometimes, yeah. It's a bit weird. You grew up so fast from my perspective, and then you did most of your growing while you were gone. It was a shock when I finally saw you again. I thought you were dead, after all." He pressed a hand to his temple, a sodden expression lining his pale countenance. "Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear."

"It's, well... Y-you know I always wanted you to see me as more of an adult when I was younger." She closed her eyes tightly, pressing even further against his side. "I think I even had a crush on you at one point."

Stu didn't really know how to react to that statement. There was a small feeling of embarrassment, of course. But overall it was expected of young girls to have crushes on parental figures not her own. If she even saw him as a parental figure. There wasn't even really a way of knowing unless he asked her. But there was a part of him that didn't want to ask.

He didn't think he would make a great parental figure, generally. But it wasn't just that. There was some other reason, but he was made uncomfortable by it; even if he wasn't entirely sure of just what that other reason was.

"A crush, huh? That seems just like you and not at all like you at the same time," Stu laughed. Noodle only responded with a drag from the cigarette still hanging between two of her fingers, turning away. Her ears were burning.

It was surprising that she could still act like such a school girl. But the lack of a normal life meant that she didn't have much experience in things like this. It made her feel utterly lost, sometimes. Talking about crushes was just embarrassing, even with everything she had been through. She wondered how other girls went about it.

"Yeah, well," she paused and smiled crookedly. "It was a pretty long time ago. I didn't really have the best grasp of things back then. I could barely speak English well, and…" She quickly snuffed her cig out, mostly just to have an excuse to pull away from him. Stu felt an immediate shift in feeling without her next to him.

"I guess," she continued, "I guess you just stood out. I mean, we all stand out. But you stood out from everyone to me. Russel took good care of me, but he's also Russel. And Murdoc has always been rude. He puts himself first, does whatever he wants regardless of whether it pisses anyone off or even destroys them from the inside. He just… doesn't care. But you care. You're not distant, you don't- you don't act like everything is beyond you. You weren't afraid to be silly, you know? I appreciated that."

Stu narrowed his eyes softly in thought, staring down at the light reflecting off one of the knobs on the board. He rubbed at his tired eyes, letting her words truly sink in. Is that really what she was thinking back then? Yeah, he always tried to be genuine, but in the process he always let everyone run over him and do whatever they want. Murdoc took advantage of that so often, and he never stood up for himself.

"Where do you think I got most of my passion for music from, huh?" Noodle said, interrupting his thought process, almost as if she sensed he was about to get way deep into his own head. "You love the music. It's always been about the music for you. I guess that's what made little me see something else in ya. When you would close your eyes and nod your head to the beat, and just sink into the rhythm… It always left an impression."

"Ah, that's because I was always spacing out, luv. It was always easier with music," Stu said bashfully. He wasn't use to that. Being praised for being himself. It felt odd to him, unnatural. He couldn't possibly accept it, and yet Noodle seemed to insist, as she turned to him to deliver one hell of a look. One he couldn't exactly describe.

"That's not exactly all there was to it," Noodle responded. "The way you would just start- I don't know, you just sang in such a-... I don't know how to say it." Her face scrunched up, her voice almost that of an innocent, lost child. It was something she hadn't done in a long time, and it took Stu back. Back when she still had trouble with English, she would say that a lot. I don't know how to say it. Exactly like that. Sometimes in frustration and sometimes like she was utterly lost, trying her hardest to come up with the right answer, the right way to say a phrase.

Stu laughed, smiling at her through sleepy eyes and the smoke that had gathered and hung in the air. If he were being honest, sometimes he missed that little girl. She really was one of the main reasons he smiled back in those days.

But he didn't miss anything else. He didn't like looking back, it felt so pointless. He allowed himself remembrance and nostalgia, but never let himself linger on choices made. At least, that was how he did things now. But now was all that mattered.

And now, all he could think was that he was thankful that Noodle had grown into a wonderful woman. Even if, thinking back on it, there was always a high chance that all three of the so called adults looking after her could fuck her up irreparably.

He took her disheveled appearance in for the first time since she had entered the room. She looked almost just as tired as he himself felt. Her hair was a mess, she was still wearing her pajamas, and he was sure that meant that she had woken up somewhat recently. Perhaps within the past hour and a half.

Despite all this, she still looked beautiful in her own right. A far cry from the cute little kid she used to be. She held herself with a certain air that would have possibly intimidated him in the past.

Yet, she was still just Noods. She was excitable about things she enjoyed, she had a love for music that quite possibly rivaled his own, she was- waving a hand in front of his face.

"Hey… you listenin'? Hellooooo? Earth to Toochi?" Noodle giggled out, laughing harder at his dumbstruck expression. "You spaced out. And just when I was telling you something important!"

"Sorry, luv. What was it?" Stu rubbed at his eyes again, pressing into them and just trying to get at least a little energy back into his system. Nothing really seemed to be working.

"It can wait. It was nothing world ending or anything like that. I'll tell you next time, yeah? But right now, sleep, it's important and you need it." Noodle stood up out of her chair and offered him a hand, smiling as she looked down at him.

Stu just stared at her hand, shaking his head and taking it with a yawn after a few moments. "Awright, luv, you win," he said as she pulled him up. "But as soon as I wake up I'm going back to work."

"I suppose I can't stop you. But you can't stop me from bringing you dinner, either. And breakfast. And whatever other meal I feel like, actually!" She seemed absolutely giddy at the prospect.

"I suppose I can't, can I?" Stu replied with a smile.


End file.
